SWB gets a phone call

Two missed calls in half an hour, it must be urgent I think. I ring home. The following chat ensues:

ME: It’s me, what’s up?

THE MOTHERSHIP: (Barely a hello) Do you EVER read over your stuff? I’m after reading the blog and you spelt Holywood wrong: twice. I presume you meant Holywood County Down, not away over yonder? One ‘L’ Helen, ONE ‘L’.

ME: It must have been auto-correct Mum, I grew up in North Down, I do know that.

THE MOTHERSHIP: No excuse. That’s why you need to proof read.

ME: I have to go on here, is there anything else?

THE MOTHERSHIP: You have to GO ON? I haven’t even STARTED on the ‘vlog’ yet, or whatever you’re calling that ‘VIDEO’ you put up.

ME: I know, I know, I repeated myself at the start.

THE MOTHERSHIP: You did, surely. But more of an issue was the enunciation, or lack of it. You were just mumbling away to yourself. I didn’t know what you were on about. Clearly you didn’t do any of exercises I’ve shown you.

ME: I just wanted to put it out before I changed my mind.

THE MOTHERSHIP: You mean you didn’t even listen to it? Do you just DO these things and FLING them out there, upon the local community?

ME: I’m going to write a blog about this conversation.

THE MOTHERSHIP: Blog about it all you like, but try and remember to use spell-check.

ME: Cheerio then mum.

THE MOTHERSHIP: Hmmph.And you with an English degree….


I swear to God, where would I be without this 75 year old editor in my life? It’s great to know that at the age of 39 your mammy can still get ripped into you about your grammar, and make you feel about nine. But as usual, the woman does have a point. Damn it.



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